by bean 2024 is behind us, which means it is time for that most prestigious of awards given out by Naval Gazing, the William D Brown Memorial Award for the biggest naval screwup that didn't kill anybody.

As the Brown Award's prestige increases, more and more navies go to greater lengths to take home the trophy:

• Military Sealift Command ran the oiler Big Horn aground off Oman
• The People's Liberation Army Navy sank a new nuclear submarine pierside.
• The Baltic Navies allowed vital cables to be repeatedly disrupted.
• And the Iranian Navy, seeking a second award, flipped a frigate in drydock, then sank it completely while attempting to salvage it.

But none of these commendable efforts were enough to secure the award, or even runner-up status. The latter falls to the Royal New Zealand Navy, who were willing to follow in the footsteps of America and Iran and set one of their own ships on fire, although they attempted to gain style points by running her aground first. Unfortunately, while hydrographic ship HMNZS Manawanui was the largest proportion of any navy yet sacrificed this way at 11%, it wasn't enough to claim the prize.

Because, in the closing days of the year, the USN, seeking an unprecedented third award, shot down one of its own F/A-18F Super Hornets over the Red Sea with a missile from the cruiser Gettysburg. Fortunately, both crew members ejected before the missile hit, preserving their eligibility and earning themselves a special tie. BZ to the USN for winning a second year in a row, and to the crew of Gettysburg for triumphing over such stiff competition. I reached out to Gettysburg's PAO for comment on their victory, but did not hear back by press time.

Past Winners:

• 2018: The Royal Norwegian Navy and the crew of Helge Ingstad for playing in traffic with an oil tanker
• 2019: On account of nobody reaching the required standard of excellence in 2019 alone, this Award has been given as a lifetime achievement award to Vern Clark, Arthur Cebrowski, Wayne Hughes and Donald Rumsfeld.
• 2020: The USN and the crew of Bonhomme Richard, for using fire instead of an oil tanker to write off a ship
• 2021: The Iranian Navy and the crew of the replenishment ship Kharg, although style points are docked for copying the previous year's winner
• 2022: Evergreen Marine, for breaking the actual William D Brown's record for biggest ship hard aground in Chesapeake Bay
• 2023: The USN and VP-4, for turning a perfectly good P-8 into a very bad boat